Gigarom 4/Mac Giga-ROM 4.0 - 1993.toast/FILES/BBS/MISC/WWIV_3.0-4/sample.r/sample.r

Text File | 1988-05-24 | 84.9 KB | 4,299 lines | [TEXT/MPS ]

/* Sample.r - Rez input file for BBS Sample external applications
   T R Teague - 29 Nov 87
 */

#include "Types.r"

type 'PSMP' as 'STR ';

resource 'PSMP' (0) {
    "BBS Sample External Application - Version 1.2 - T R Teague - 16 Dec 87"
};


resource 'ICN#' (128) {
    {    /* array: 2 elements */
        /* [1] */
        $"0000 0000 0000 0000 0000 0000 0000 0000"
        $"0000 0000 07FF FF00 0600 0080 0500 0040"
        $"0480 0020 0440 0010 0420 0008 0410 0004"
        $"040F FFFE 0408 0002 0408 0002 0408 0002"
        $"0408 0002 0408 0002 0408 0002 0408 0002"
        $"0408 0002 0408 0002 0408 0002 0408 0002"
        $"0208 0002 0108 0002 0088 0002 0048 0002"
        $"0028 0002 0018 0002 000F FFFE",
        /* [2] */
        $"000F FFFC 001F FFF8 003F FFF0 007F FFE0"
        $"00FF FFC0 0600 0080 05FF FF80 0792 49C0"
        $"07C9 24E0 07E4 9270 07F2 4918 07FF FFFC"
        $"07FF FFFE 07FF FFFE 07FF FFFE 07FF FFFE"
        $"07FF FFFE 07FF FFFE 07FF FFFE 07FF FFFE"
        $"07FF FFFE 07FF FFFE 07FF FFFE 07FF FFFE"
        $"03FF FFFE 01FF FFFE 00FF FFFE 007F FFFE"
        $"003F FFFE 001F FFFE 000F FFFE"
    }
};


resource 'BNDL' (128) {
    'PSMP',
    0,
    {
        'ICN#',
        {
            0, 128
        },
        'FREF',
        {
            0, 128
        }
    }
};


resource 'FREF' (128) {
    'APPL',
    0,
    ""
};

resource 'STR#' (1000) {
    {
"Adam and Eve had many advantages, but the principal one",
"was, that they escaped teething.",
"    - Mark Twain"
    }
};


resource 'STR#' (1001) {
    {
"Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond;",
"cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.",
"    - Mark Twain"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1002) {
    {
"Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die",
"even the undertaker will be sorry.",
"    - Mark Twain"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1003) {
    {
"The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet and steady and",
"loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole",
"lifetime, if not asked to lend money.",
"    - Mark Twain"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1004) {
    {
"Consider well the proportions of things. It is better to be a",
"young June-bug than an old bird of paradise.",
"    - Mark Twain"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1005) {
    {
"It is easy to find fault, if one has that disposition. There was once",
"a man who, not being able to find any other fault with his coal,",
"complained that there were too many prehistoric toads in it.",
"    - Mark Twain"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1006) {
    {
"When angry, count four; when very angry, swear.",
"    - Mark Twain"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1007) {
    {
"When I reflect upon the number of disagreeable people who I know",
"have gone to a better world, I am moved to lead a different life.",
"    - Mark Twain"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1008) {
    {
"Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.",
"    - Mark Twain"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1009) {
    {
"Behold, the fool saith, “Put not all thine eggs in the one basket”",
"- which is but a manner of saying, “Scatter your money and your",
"attention”; but the wise man saith, “Put all of your eggs in the one",
"basket and - WATCH THAT BASKET.”",
"    - Mark Twain"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1010) {
    {
"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not",
"bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.",
"    - Mark Twain"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1011) {
    {
"We know all about the habits of the ant, we know all about the",
"habits of the bee, but we know nothing at all about the habits of",
"the oyster. It seems almost certain that we have been choosing the",
"wrong time for studying the oyster.",
"    - Mark Twain"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1012) {
    {
"Even popularity can be overdone. In Rome, along at first, you",
"are full of regrets that Michelangelo died; but by and by you only",
"regret that you didn't see him do it.",
"    - Mark Twain"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1013) {
    {
"Few things are harder to put up with",
"than the annoyance of a good example.",
"    - Mark Twain"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1014) {
    {
"It were not best that we should all think alike;",
"it is difference of opinion that makes horse-races.",
"    - Mark Twain"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1015) {
    {
"It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no",
"distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.",
"    - Mark Twain"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1016) {
    {
"Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.",
"    - Mark Twain"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1017) {
    {
"Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them",
"the rest of us could not succeed.",
"    - Mark Twain"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1018) {
    {
"Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit,",
"you would stay out and your dog would go in.",
"    - Mark Twain"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1019) {
    {
"When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look,",
"it's a sure sign you're getting old.",
"    - Mark Twain"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1020) {
    {
"Be virtuous and you will be eccentric.",
"    - Mark Twain"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1021) {
    {
"Loyalty to a petrified opinion never yet broke a chain",
"or freed a human soul.",
"    - Mark Twain"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1022) {
    {
"Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.",
"    - Mark Twain"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1023) {
    {
"I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell",
"- you see, I have friends in both places.",
"    - Mark Twain"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1024) {
    {
"In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French; I never",
"did succeed in making those idiots understand their own language.",
"    - Mark Twain"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1025) {
    {
"Happiness, n.  An agreeable sensation arising from contemplating",
"the misery of another.",
"    - Ambrose Bierce"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1026) {
    {
"Defame, v.t.  To lie about another. To tell the truth about another.",
"    - Ambrose Bierce"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1027) {
    {
"Distress, n.  A disease incurred by exposure to the prosperity",
"of a friend.",
"    - Ambrose Bierce"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1028) {
    {
"Discussion, n.  A method of confirming others in their errors.",
"    - Ambrose Bierce"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1029) {
    {
"Disobey, v.t.  To celebrate with an appropriate ceremony the maturity",
"of a command.",
"    - Ambrose Bierce"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1030) {
    {
"Consult, v.t.  To seek another's approval of a course already",
"decided upon.",
"    - Ambrose Bierce"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1031) {
    {
"Bigot, n.  One who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion",
"that you do not entertain.",
"    - Ambrose Bierce"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1032) {
    {
"Applause, n.  The echo of a platitude.",
"    - Ambrose Bierce"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1033) {
    {
"Appeal, vt. In law, to put the dice into the box for another throw.",
"    - Ambrose Bierce"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1034) {
    {
"Self-esteem, n.  An erroneous appraisement.",
"    - Ambrose Bierce"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1035) {
    {
"Liar, n.  A lawyer with a roving commission.",
"    - Ambrose Bierce"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1036) {
    {
"Lawyer, n.  One skilled in the circumvention of the law.",
"    - Ambrose Bierce"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1037) {
    {
"Corporation, n.  An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit",
"without individual responsibility.",
"    - Ambrose Bierce"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1038) {
    {
"Conservative, n.  A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as",
"distinguished from the Liberal, who wishes to replace them with others.",
"    - Ambrose Bierce"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1039) {
    {
"Cynic, n.  A blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are,",
"not as they ought to be.",
"    - Ambrose Bierce"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1040) {
    {
"The universe is merely a fleeting idea in God's mind - a pretty",
"uncomfortable thought, particularly if you've just made a down",
"payment on a house.",
"    - Woody Allen"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1041) {
    {
"Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.",
"    - Woody Allen"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1042) {
    {
"Thought: Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only",
"food: frequently there must be a beverage.",
"    - Woody Allen"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1043) {
    {
"I don't want to be immortal through my works;",
"I want to be immortal through not dying.",
"    - Woody Allen"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1044) {
    {
"Those who cannot remember the past are doomed to repeat it.",
"    - George Santayana"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1045) {
    {
"The superior man is modest in his speech, but exceeds in his actions.",
"    - Confucius"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1046) {
    {
"The superior man understands what is right; the inferior man",
"understands what will sell.",
"    - Confucius"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1047) {
    {
"The people may be made to follow a path of action, but they may",
"not be made to understand it.",
"    - Confucius"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1048) {
    {
"Fine words and an insinuating appearance are seldom associated",
"with true virtue.",
"    - Confucius"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1049) {
    {
"Rotten wood cannot be carved.",
"    - Confucius"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1050) {
    {
"Conscience is the inner voice that warns us somebody may be looking.",
"    - H.L. Mencken"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1051) {
    {
"Jury: A group of twelve men who, having lied to the judge about their",
"hearing, health, and business engagements, have failed to fool him.",
"    - H.L. Mencken"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1052) {
    {
"The men the American people admire most extravagantly are the most",
"daring liars; the men they detest most violently are those who try",
"to tell them the truth.",
"    - H.L. Mencken"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1053) {
    {
"There are some politicians who, if their constituents were cannibals,",
"would promise them missionaries for dinner.",
"    - H.L. Mencken"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1054) {
    {
"A gentleman is one who never strikes a woman without provocation.",
"    - H.L. Mencken"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1055) {
    {
"Never confuse motion for action. ",
"    - Benjamin Franklin"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1056) {
    {
"Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition",
"from mediocre minds.",
"    - Albert Einstein"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1057) {
    {
"Physical concepts are free creations of the human mind, and are",
"not, however it may seem, uniquely determined by the external world.",
"    - Albert Einstein"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1058) {
    {
"To lose one parent...may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose",
"both looks like carelessness.",
"    - Oscar Wilde"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1059) {
    {
"A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.",
"    - Oscar Wilde"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1060) {
    {
"Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much.",
"    - Oscar Wilde"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1061) {
    {
"There is nothing more difficult to take in hand, more perilous",
"to conduct, or more uncertain in its success, than to take the lead",
"in the introduction of a new order of things.",
"    - Niccolò Machiavelli"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1062) {
    {
"There is no other way of guarding oneself against flattery than",
"by letting men understand that they will not offend you by speaking",
"the truth; but when everyone can tell you the truth, you lose their",
"respect.",
"    - Niccolò Machiavelli"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1063) {
    {
"Diogenes was asked what wine he liked best; and he answered",
"as I would have done when he said: “Somebody else's.”",
"    - Michel de Montaigne"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1064) {
    {
"Everything you know is wrong!",
"    - Firesign Theater"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1065) {
    {
"I don't know if God exists, but it would be better for His reputation",
"if He didn't.",
"    - Jules Renard"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1066) {
    {
"There are not enough jails, not enough policemen, not enough courts to",
"enforce a law not supported by the people.",
"    - Hubert H. Humphrey"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1067) {
    {
"To some lawyers, all facts are created equal.",
"    - Felix Frankfurter"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1068) {
    {
"This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session",
"as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.",
"    - Will Rogers"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1069) {
    {
"I belong to no organized political party - I am a Democrat.",
"    - Will Rogers"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1070) {
    {
"Behind the phony tinsel of Hollywood lies the real tinsel.",
"    - Oscar Levant"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1071) {
    {
"A great many people think they are thinking when they are",
"merely rearranging their prejudices.",
"    - William James"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1072) {
    {
"A good catchword can obscure analysis for fifty years.",
"    - Wendell L. Willkie"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1073) {
    {
"A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend",
"upon the support of Paul.",
"    - George Bernard Shaw"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1074) {
    {
"Christianity might be a good thing if anyone ever tried it.",
"    - George Bernard Shaw"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1075) {
    {
"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by",
"those who have not got it.",
"    - George Bernard Shaw"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1076) {
    {
"Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all",
"other countries because you were born in it.",
"    - George Bernard Shaw"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1077) {
    {
"Englishman: A creature who thinks he is being virtuous",
"when he is only being uncomfortable.",
"    - George Bernard Shaw"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1078) {
    {
"There is no satisfaction in hanging a man who doesn't object to it.",
"    -  George Bernard Shaw"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1079) {
    {
"Round numbers are always false.",
"    - Samuel Johnson"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1080) {
    {
"There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.",
"    - Benjamin Disraeli"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1081) {
    {
"It is surely harmful to souls to make it a heresy to believe",
"what is proved.",
"    - Galileo Galilei"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1082) {
    {
"Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.",
"    - Groucho Marx"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1083) {
    {
"It requires a very unusual mind to make an analysis of the obvious.",
"    - Alfred North Whitehead"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1084) {
    {
"There is not any memory with less satisfaction than the memory",
"of some temptation we resisted.",
"    - James Branch Cabell"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1085) {
    {
"The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds,",
"and the pessimist fears this is true.",
"    - James Branch Cabell"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1086) {
    {
"If an animal does something, we call it instinct; if we do the same",
"thing for the same reason, we call it intelligence.",
"    - Will Cuppy"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1087) {
    {
"The best way to keep children home is to make the home",
"atmosphere pleasant - and let the air out of the tires.",
"    - Dorothy Parker"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1088) {
    {
"Originality is the art of concealing your source.",
"    - Franklin P. Jones"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1089) {
    {
"The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.",
"    - Franklin P. Jones"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1090) {
    {
"Men seldom make passes at a girl who surpasses.",
"    - Franklin P. Jones"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1091) {
    {
"Experience enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.",
"    - Franklin P. Jones"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1092) {
    {
"Conscience: A small, still voice that makes minority reports.",
"    - Franklin P. Jones"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1093) {
    {
"Children are unpredictable. You never know what",
"inconsistency they're going to catch you in next.",
"    - Franklin P. Jones"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1094) {
    {
"It may be those who do most, dream most.",
"    - Stephen Leacock"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1095) {
    {
"Advertising may be described as the science of arresting the human",
"intelligence long enough to get money from it.",
"    - Stephen Leacock"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1096) {
    {
"Nothing would please the Kremlin more than to have the",
"people of this country choose a second-rate president.",
"    - Richard M. Nixon"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1097) {
    {
"The tragic lesson of guilty men walking free in this country",
"has not been lost on the criminal community.",
"    - Richard M. Nixon"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1098) {
    {
"The dictum that truth always triumphs over persecution is one of those",
"pleasant falsehoods which men repeat after one another till they pass",
"into commonplace, but which all experience refutes.",
"    - John Stuart Mill"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1099) {
    {
"The devil can cite Scripture for his purpose.",
"    - William Shakespeare"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1100) {
    {
"Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves.",
"    - Abraham Lincoln"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1101) {
    {
"There is no stronger bond of friendship than a mutual enemy.",
"    - Frankfort Moore"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1102) {
    {
"If you can't answer a man's argument, all is not lost; you can",
"still call him vile names.",
"    - Elbert Hubbard"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1103) {
    {
"Abstract Art: A product of the untalented, sold by the unprincipled",
"to the utterly bewildered.",
"    - Al Capp"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1104) {
    {
"When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President;",
"I'm beginning to believe it.",
"    - Clarence Darrow"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1105) {
    {
"Pity the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.",
"    - Don Marquis"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1106) {
    {
"My country right or wrong, is a thing no patriot would think of",
"saying except in a desperate case. It is like saying, “My mother,",
"drunk or sober!”",
"    - G.K. Chesterton"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1107) {
    {
"Shake and shake",
"The catsup bottle,",
"None will come,",
"And then a lot'll.",
"    - Richard Armour"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1108) {
    {
"If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit.",
"There's no use being a damn fool about it.",
"    - W.C. Fields"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1109) {
    {
"Why should we subsidize intellectual curiosity?",
"    - Ronald Reagan"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1110) {
    {
"In America any boy may become president and",
"I suppose it's just one of the risks he takes.",
"    - Adlai Stevenson"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1111) {
    {
"It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it.",
"    - Steven Wright"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1112) {
    {
"You can't have everything - where would you put it?",
"    - Steven Wright"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1113) {
    {
"Women - you can't live with 'em, and you can't shoot 'em.",
"    - Steven Wright"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1114) {
    {
"Everything is within walking distance, if you have enough time.",
"    - Steven Wright"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1115) {
    {
"Treason doth never prosper: what's the reason?",
"For if it prosper, none dare call it treason.",
"    - Sir John Harington"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1116) {
    {
"Don't look back. Something may be gaining on you.",
"    - Satchel Paige"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1117) {
    {
"The flush toilet is the basis of Western civilization.",
"    - Alan Coult"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1118) {
    {
"Be obscure clearly.",
"    - E.B. White"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1119) {
    {
"Public office is the last refuge of the incompetent.",
"    - Boies Penrose"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1120) {
    {
"Since we have to speak well of the dead, let's knock them while",
"they're alive.",
"    - John Sloan"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1121) {
    {
"Democracy is the worst system devised by the wit of man,",
"except for all the others.",
"    - Winston Churchill"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1122) {
    {
"Diplomacy is the art of saying “Nice doggie!” till you can find a rock.",
"    - Wynn Catlin"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1123) {
    {
"Under current law, it is a crime for a private citizen to lie to",
"a government official, but not for the government official to",
"lie to the people.",
"    - Donald M. Fraser"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1124) {
    {
"Poets are born, not paid.",
"    - Wilson Mizner"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1125) {
    {
"Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes.",
"    - Henry David Thoreau"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1126) {
    {
"Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random numbers",
"is, of course, in a state of sin.",
"    - John Von Neumann"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1127) {
    {
"Writing free verse is like playing tennis with the net down.",
"    - Robert Frost"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1128) {
    {
"Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.",
"    - Pablo Picasso"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1129) {
    {
"Families, when a child is born",
"Want it to be intelligent.",
"I, through intelligence,",
"Have wrecked my whole life.",
"Only hope the baby will prove",
"Ignorant and stupid.",
"Then he will crown a tranquil life",
"By becoming a cabinet minister.",
"    - Su Tung-P'o"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1130) {
    {
"Q: Why don't sharks eat lawyers?",
"A: Professional courtesy."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1131) {
    {
"Q: What's the difference between a rooster and a lawyer ?",
"A: A rooster clucks defiance, a lawyer ............."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1132) {
    {
"Q: What's purple and commutes?",
"A: An abelian grape!"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1133) {
    {
"Q: How many programmers does it take to screw in a light bulb?",
"A: None. It's a hardware problem."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1134) {
    {
"Q: How was Thomas J. Watson buried?",
"A: Face down, 9-edge in."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1135) {
    {
"Man who falls in blast furnace is certain to feel overwrought."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1136) {
    {
"Chinese saying: “He who speak with forked tongue, not need chopsticks.”"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1137) {
    {
"Only the brave deserve the fair, but only rich,",
"fat, cowardly merchants can afford same.",
"    - Chinese Proverb"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1138) {
    {
"Man who falls in vat of molten optical glass makes spectacle of self."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1139) {
    {
"There are two kinds of lawyers, those that",
"know the law and those that know the judge."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1140) {
    {
"It seems that there was a missionary lost in the depths of Africa.",
"He came upon this tribe of cannibals that advertised all of their",
"various delicacies. He saw signs such as:",

"Doctor's brains :      $4.50 a pound",
"Engineer's brains:     $2.50 a pound",
"Cement Mixer's brains: $6.00 a pound",
"Lawyer's brains:       $300.00 a pound",

"“Why in the world,” he asked the head honcho,",
"“do lawyers brains cost so much?”",

"“Do you know how many lawyers it takes to get a pound of brains?”",
"was the reply."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1141) {
    {
"This guy walks into a saloon and sits down next to a man at the bar,",
"after a few beers, he says, “Did you hear the one about the IBM PC",
"programmer?” The man at the bar says “Wait a minute, I *am* an IBM",
"PC programmer and you see my friends over there,” pointing to a bunch",
"of hefty looking guys in leather jackets, “They're all IBM PC programmers",
"too!” “Well,” the guy says, “I guess I'd better not tell it then, I'd",
"have to explain it too many times.”"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1142) {
    {
"You will be surprised by a loud noise."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1143) {
    {
"Many are cold, but few are frozen."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1144) {
    {
"It is better to have loved and lost than just to have lost."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1145) {
    {
"We learn from history that we do not learn anything from history."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1146) {
    {
"A man who turns green has eschewed protein."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1147) {
    {
"Those who can, do; those who can't, simulate."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1148) {
    {
"In this world, truth can wait; she's used to it."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1149) {
    {
"A lack of leadership is no substitute for inaction."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1150) {
    {
"Troglodytism does not necessarily imply a low cultural level."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1151) {
    {
"What is worth doing is worth the trouble of asking somebody to do it."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1152) {
    {
"To iterate is human, to recurse, divine."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1153) {
    {
"You cannot kill time without injuring eternity."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1154) {
    {
"A king's castle is his home."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1155) {
    {
"Many are called, few volunteer."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1156) {
    {
"You have a tendency to feel you are superior to most computers."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1157) {
    {
"Today is the last day of your life so far."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1158) {
    {
"Do not clog intellect's sluices",
"With bits of knowledge of questionable uses."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1159) {
    {
"Put not your trust in money, but put your money in trust."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1160) {
    {
"The world is coming to an end...  SAVE YOUR BUFFERS!!!"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1161) {
    {
"What happens when you cut back the jungle? It recedes."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1162) {
    {
"Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1163) {
    {
"Don't get stuck in a closet -- wear yourself out."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1164) {
    {
"Mistakes are oft the stepping stones to failure."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1165) {
    {
"All that glitters has a high refractive index."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1166) {
    {
"I am a computer. I am dumber than any human",
"and smarter than an administrator."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1167) {
    {
"Long computations which yield 0 (zero) are probably all for naught."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1168) {
    {
"A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a Unicorn."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1169) {
    {
"Every silver lining has a cloud around it."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1170) {
    {
"After a number of decimal places, nobody gives a damn."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1171) {
    {
"What is worth doing is worth the trouble of asking somebody to do it."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1172) {
    {
"You can never trust a woman; she may be true to you."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1173) {
    {
"Laugh, and the world ignores you.  Crying doesn't help either."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1174) {
    {
"Sex, Drugs, and MPW!"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1175) {
    {
"Waste not, get your budget cut next year."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1176) {
    {
"If God had wanted you to go around nude,",
"He would have given you bigger hands."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1177) {
    {
"You attempt things that you do not even plan",
"because of your extreme stupidity."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1178) {
    {
"Blessed are they that run around in circles,",
"for they shall be known as wheels."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1179) {
    {
"Time is nature's way of making sure that everything",
"doesn't happen at once."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1180) {
    {
"The man who raises his voice first has lost the argument."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1181) {
    {
"You shouldn't try to teach a pig to sing.",
"You waste your time and it annoys the pig."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1182) {
    {
"He who hesitates is miles away from the next freeway exit."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1183) {
    {
"Quantity is no substitute for quality, but it's the only one we've got."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1184) {
    {
"The more things change, the more they'll never be the same again."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1185) {
    {
"Those who can, do.",
"Those who can't, teach.",
"Those who can't teach, administrate."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1186) {
    {
"It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool",
"than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1187) {
    {
"The proof is left to the student as a pudding.",
"The student is in the pudding as an exercise.",
"The exercise is proof of the student."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1188) {
    {
"I would rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1189) {
    {
"Girls don't give hugs if your code has bugs."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1190) {
    {
"Never argue with a fool. Others may not be able to tell the difference."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1191) {
    {
"If it jams, force it.",
"If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1192) {
    {
"Anything that isn't nailed down is mine.",
"Anything I can pry loose isn't nailed down."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1193) {
    {
"The probability of the bread falling jelly-side down is",
"directly proportional to the cost of the carpet."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1194) {
    {
"The person who can smile when something goes wrong has",
"obviously thought of someone to blame it on."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1195) {
    {
"The difference between capitalism and socialism is that in capitalism,",
"man exploits man, while in socialism it's the other way around.",
"    - Polish Proverb"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1196) {
    {
"Subtlety is the art of saying what you think,",
"and getting out of the way before it is understood."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1197) {
    {
"To the systems programmers, the customers",
"and users serve only as a test load."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1198) {
    {
"Before they made you they broke the mold."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1199) {
    {
"A whole hog is better than no hog at all."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1200) {
    {
"Necessity is the mother of strange bedfellows."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1201) {
    {
"Bit, n.  The quantum of misinformation."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1202) {
    {
"One incompetent manager can negate the",
"work of dozens of excellent engineers."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1203) {
    {
"This place is a hotbed of inertia."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1204) {
    {
"Just because something is scientifically true,",
"doesn't mean it's not weird."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1205) {
    {
"The next system crash is just a 1/60 of a second away."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1206) {
    {
"To be is to do.",
"-- Camus",
"To do is to be.",
"-- Sartre",
"Do be do be do",
"-- Sinatra"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1207) {
    {
"May your Tongue stick to the Roof of your Mouth",
"with the Force of a Thousand Caramels."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1208) {
    {
"Sex is not the answer.",
"Sex is the question.",
"“Yes” is the answer."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1209) {
    {
"$100 invested at 7% interest for 100 years will become $100,000,",
"at which time it will be worth absolutely nothing."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1210) {
    {
"Where there's a will, there's an inheritance tax."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1211) {
    {
"Know thyself.",
"If you need help, call the C.I.A."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1212) {
    {
"Clothes make the man.",
"Naked people have little or no influence in society."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1213) {
    {
"You have the capacity to learn from mistakes.",
"You'll learn a lot today."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1214) {
    {
"A day for firm decisions!!!",
"-- Or is it?"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1215) {
    {
"UFO's are for real;",
"the Air Force doesn't exist."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1216) {
    {
"The way to make a small fortune in the stock market",
"is to start with a large fortune."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1217) {
    {
"The trouble with being punctual is that people think",
"you have nothing more important to do."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1218) {
    {
"There has been an alarming increase in the number of things",
"you know nothing about."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1219) {
    {
"Never trust a computer bigger than you can lift."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1220) {
    {
"Printer paper is strongest at the perforations."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1221) {
    {
"How come wrong numbers are never busy?"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1222) {
    {
"Murphy's law is recursive.",
"Washing your car to make it rain doesn't work."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1223) {
    {
"How sharper than a hound's tooth it is to have a thankless serpent."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1224) {
    {
"When you are in it up to your ears keep your mouth shut."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1225) {
    {
"The right half of the brain controls the left half of the body.",
"This means that only left-handed people are in their right mind."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1226) {
    {
"A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way",
"that you will look forward to the trip."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1227) {
    {
"A bird in the hand is worth what it will bring."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1228) {
    {
"It has been proven impossible to make anything foolproof",
"because fools are so ingenious."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1229) {
    {
"What the hell, put all your eggs in one basket."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1230) {
    {
"All wrong numbers are the same person."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1231) {
    {
"How do they get Teflon to stick to the pan?"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1232) {
    {
"Bruce Willis' Physics Question:",
"    A Thermos keeps hot things hot and cold things cold. How do it know?"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1233) {
    {
"Coito ergo sum."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1234) {
    {
"    Keep your eye on the ball",
"    your shoulder to the wheel,",
"    your nose to the grind-stone,",
"    your feet on the ground,",
"    your head on your shoulders,",
"    now, try and get something done!"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1235) {
    {
"Peace: In international affairs, a period of cheating",
"between two periods of fighting."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1236) {
    {
"If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?",
"    - Art Hoppe"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1237) {
    {
"An abstainer is a weak person who yields",
"to the temptation of denying himself pleasure."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1238) {
    {
"The goal of Science is to build better mousetraps.",
"The goal of Nature is to build better mice."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1239) {
    {
"If bankers can count, how come they have",
"eight windows and only four tellers?"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1240) {
    {
"A sine-wave goes off into infinity, or at least the end of the blackboard.",
"    - Prof. Steiner"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1241) {
    {
"Those who cannot write, write manuals."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1242) {
    {
"Never call a man a fool. Borrow from him."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1243) {
    {
"This will be a memorable month, no matter how hard you try to forget it."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1244) {
    {
"Afternoon very favorable for romance. Try a single person for a change."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1245) {
    {
"You analyst has you mixed up with another patient.",
"Don't believe a word he says."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1246) {
    {
"Do not drink coffee in AM. It will keep you awake till noon."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1247) {
    {
"You will be recognized soon. Hide."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1248) {
    {
"Good day for overcoming obstacles. Try a steeplechase."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1249) {
    {
"You've been leading a dog's life. Stay off the furniture."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1250) {
    {
"Be free and breezy! Enjoy! Things won't get any better, so get used to it."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1251) {
    {
"Good news. Ten weeks from Friday will be a pretty good day."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1252) {
    {
"Show respect for age. Drink a good scotch for a change."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1253) {
    {
"The brain is a wonderful instrument;",
"it starts working the moment you get up",
"and doesn't stop until you get to work."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1254) {
    {
"According to the latest official figures,",
"43% of all statistics are totally worthless."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1255) {
    {
"Due to a shortage of devoted followers,",
"the production of great leaders has been discontinued."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1256) {
    {
"Good day to let down old friends who need help."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1257) {
    {
"A chubby man in a red suit and a white beard will approach you soon.",
"Avoid him. He's a commie."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1258) {
    {
"Dyslexics, Untie!"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1259) {
    {
"Give your child mental blocks for Christmas."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1260) {
    {
"Separatists, Unite!"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1261) {
    {
"A closed mouth gathers no foot."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1262) {
    {
"Death is nature's way of telling you to slow down."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1263) {
    {
"The earth is like a tiny grain of sand, only much, much heavier."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1264) {
    {
"There was a young poet named Dan,",
"Whose poetry never would scan.",
"When told this was so,",
"He said, “Yes, I know”",
"It's because I try to put every possible syllable into the last line that I can."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1265) {
    {
"A limerick packs laughs anatomical",
"Into a space that is quite economical.",
"But the good ones I've seen",
"So seldom are clean,",
"And the clean ones are so seldom comical."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1266) {
    {
"   Airplane Law",
"When the plane you are on is late,",
"the plane you want to transfer to is on time."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1267) {
    {
"  Allison's Precept",
"The best simple-minded test of expertise in a particular area is",
"the ability to win money in a series of bets on future",
"occurrences in that area."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1268) {
    {
"  Anthony's Law of Force",
"Don't force it, get a larger hammer."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1269) {
    {
"  Anthony's Law of the Workshop",
"Any tool, when dropped, will roll into the least accessible",
"corner of the workshop.",

"    Corollary to Anthony's Law",
"On the way to the corner, any dropped tool will first always",
"strike your toes."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1270) {
    {
"  Army Axiom",
"Any order that can be misunderstood has been misunderstood."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1271) {
    {
"  Axiom of the Pipe   (Trischmann's Paradox)",
"A pipe gives a wise man time to think and a fool something",
"to stick in his mouth."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1272) {
    {
"  Baker's Law",
"Misery no longer loves company.  Nowadays it insists on it."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1273) {
    {
"  Barber's Laws of Backpacking",
"1)  The integral of the gravitational potential taken around",
"any loop trail you choose to hike always comes out positive.",
"2)  The weight of your pack increases in direct proportion",
"to the amount of food you consume from it.  If you",
"run out of food, the pack weight goes on increasing anyway.",
"3)  The difficulty of finding any given trail marker is directly",
"proportional to the importance of the consequences of failing",
"to find it.",
"4)  The remaining distance to your chosen campsite remains",
"constant as twilight approaches.",
"5)  When you arrive at your chosen campsite, it is full.",
"6)  The local density of mosquitos is inversely proportional to",
"your remaining repellent."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1274) {
    {
"  Barth's Distinction",
"There are two types of people: those who divide people into",
"two types, and those who don't."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1275) {
    {
"  Barzun's Laws of Learning",
"The simple but difficult arts of paying attention,",
"copying accurately, following an argument, detecting an",
"ambiguity or a false inference, testing guesses by summoning",
"up contrary instances, organizing one's time and one's",
"thought for study -- all these arts -- cannot be taught in",
"the air but only through the difficulties of a defined",
"subject.",
"They cannot be taught in one course or one year, but",
"must be acquired gradually in dozens of connections."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1276) {
    {
"  Forthoffer's Cynical Summary of Barzun's Laws",
"That which has not yet been taught directly can never",
"be taught directly."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1277) {
    {
"  Baxter's First Law",
"Government intervention in the free market always leads to a",
"lower national standard of living."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1278) {
    {
"  Baxter's Second Law",
"The adoption of fractional gold reserves in a currency system",
"always leads to depreciation, devaluation, demonetization and,",
"ultimately, to complete destruction of that currency."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1279) {
    {
"  Baxter's Third Law",
"In a free market good money always drives bad money out of",
"circulation."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1280) {
    {
"  Becker's Law",
"It is much harder to find a job than to keep one."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1281) {
    {
"  Beifeld's Principle",
"The probability of a young man meeting a desirable and receptive",
"young female increases by pyramidal progression when he is",
"already in the company of (1) a date, (2) his wife, and",
"(3) a better looking and richer male friend."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1282) {
    {
"  Bicycle Law",
"All bicycles weigh 50 pounds:",
"A 30-pound bicycle needs a 20-pound lock and chain.",
"A 40-pound bicycle needs a 10-pound lock and chain.",
"A 50-pound bicycle needs no lock or chain."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1283) {
    {
"  Blaauw's Law",
"Established technology tends to persist in spite of new",
"technology."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1284) {
    {
"  Booker's Law",
"An ounce of application is worth a ton of abstraction."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1285) {
    {
"  Boren's Laws",
"1)  When in doubt, mumble.",
"2)  When in trouble, delegate.",
"3)  When in charge, ponder."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1286) {
    {
"  Brien's Law",
"At some time in the life cycle of virtually every organization,",
"its ability to succeed in spite of itself runs out."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1287) {
    {
"  Brook's Law",
"Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1288) {
    {
"  Brown's Law of Business Success",
"Our customer's paperwork is profit. Our own paperwork is loss."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1289) {
    {
"  Bucy's Law",
"Nothing is ever accomplished by a reasonable man."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1290) {
    {
"  Bustlin' Billy's Bogus Beliefs",
"1)  The organization of any program reflects the organization",
"of the people who develop it.",
"2)  There is no such thing as a “dirty capitalist,” only a",
"capitalist.",
"3)  Anything is possible, but nothing is easy.",
"4)  Capitalism can exist in one of only two states --",
"welfare or warfare.",
"5)  I'd rather go whoring than warring.",
"6)  History proves nothing.",
"7)  There is nothing so unbecoming on the beach as a wet kilt.",
"8)  A little humility is arrogance.",
"9)  A lot of what appears to be progress is just so much",
"technological rococo."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1291) {
    {
"  Bye's First Law of Model Railroading",
"Anytime you wish to demonstrate something, the number of faults",
"is proportional to the number of viewers."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1292) {
    {
"  Bye's Second Law of Model Railroading",
"The desire for modeling a prototype is inversely proportional",
"to the decline of the prototype."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1293) {
    {
"  Cahn's Axiom",
"When all else fails, read the instructions."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1294) {
    {
"  Camp's Law",
"A coup that is known in advance is a coup that does not take",
"place."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1295) {
    {
"  Canada Bill Jones' Motto",
"It's morally wrong to allow suckers to keep their money."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1296) {
    {
"  Canada Bill Jones' Supplement",
"A Smith and Wesson beats four aces."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1297) {
    {
"  Cheop's Law",
"Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1298) {
    {
"  Chisholm's Law of Human Interaction",
"Anytime things appear to be going better you have overlooked",
"something."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1299) {
    {
"  Chisholm's Third Law",
"Proposals, as understood by the proposer,",
"will be judged otherwise by others.",
"Corollary 1:  If you explain so clearly that nobody can",
"misunderstand, somebody will.",
"Corollary 2:  If you do something which you are sure will meet",
"with everyone's approval, somebody won't like it.",
"Corollary 3:  Procedures devised to implement the purpose",
"won't quite work.",
"Corollary 4:  No matter how long or how many times you explain,",
"no one is listening."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1300) {
    {
"  Churchill's Commentary on Man",
"Man will occasionally stumble over the truth but most of the",
"time he will pick himself up and continue on."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1301) {
    {
"  Clarke's First Law",
"When a distinguished but elderly scientist states that something",
"is possible, he is almost certainly right.  When he states that",
"something is impossible, he is very probably wrong."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1302) {
    {
"  Clarke's Second Law",
"The only way to discover the limits of the possible is to go",
"beyond them into the impossible."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1303) {
    {
"  Clarke's Third Law",
"Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from",
"magic."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1304) {
    {
"  Clarke's Law of Revolutionary Ideas",
"Every revolutionary idea - in Science, Politics, Art or",
"Whatever - evokes three stages of reaction.  They may be summed",
"up by the three phrases:",
"1)  “It is completely impossible -- don't waste my time”.",
"2)  “It is possible, but it is not worth doing”.",
"3)  “I said it was a good idea all along”."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1305) {
    {
"  Cohen's Law",
"What really matters is the name you succeed in imposing on the",
"facts -- not the facts themselves."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1306) {
    {
"  Cole's Law",
"Thinly sliced cabbage."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1307) {
    {
"  Commoner's Three Laws of Ecology",
"1)  No action is without side-effects.",
"2)  Nothing ever goes away.",
"3)  There is no free lunch."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1308) {
    {
"  Cook's Law",
"Much work -- much food, little work -- little food,",
"no work -- burial at sea."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1309) {
    {
"  Cornuelle's Law",
"Authority tends to assign jobs to those least able to do them."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1310) {
    {
"  Crane's Law   (Friedman's Reiteration)",
"There ain't no such thing as a free lunch."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1311) {
    {
"  Diogenes' First Dictum",
"The more heavily a man is supposed to be taxed, the more power",
"he has to escape being taxed."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1312) {
    {
"  Diogenes' Second Dictum",
"If a taxpayer thinks he can cheat safely, he probably will."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1313) {
    {
"  Dow's Law",
"In a hierarchical organization, the higher the level, the",
"greater the confusion."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1314) {
    {
"  Dunne's Law",
"The territory behind rhetoric is too often mined with",
"equivocation."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1315) {
    {
"  Ettorre's Observation",
"The other line moves faster."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1316) {
    {
"  Evan's Law of Politics",
"When team members are finally in a position to help the team,",
"it turns out they have quit the team."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1317) {
    {
"  Everitt's Form of the Second Law of Thermodynamics",
"Confusion (entropy) is always increasing in society.  Only if",
"someone or something works extremely hard can this confusion be",
"reduced to order in a limited region.  Nevertheless, this effort",
"will still result in an increase in the total confusion of",
"society at large."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1318) {
    {
"  Extended Epstein-Heisenberg Principle",
"In an R + D orbit, only 2 of the existing 3 parameters can be",
"defined simultaneously.  The parameters are: task, time and",
"resources ($).",
"1)  If one knows what the task is, and there is a time limit",
"allowed for the completion of the task, then one cannot guess",
"how much it will cost.",
"2)  If the time and resources ($) are clearly defined, then it",
"is impossible to know what part of the R + D task will be",
"performed.",
"3)  If you are given a clearly defined R + D goal and a definite",
"amount of money which has been calculated to be necessary",
"for the completion of the task, one cannot predict if and",
"when the goal will be reached.",
"4)  If one is lucky enough and can accurately define all 3",
"parameters, then what one deals with is not in the realm of",
"R + D."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1319) {
    {
"  Farber's First Law",
"Give him an inch and he'll screw you."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1320) {
    {
"  Farber's Second Law",
"A hand in the bush is worth two anywhere else."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1321) {
    {
"  Farber's Third Law",
"We're all going down the same road in different directions."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1322) {
    {
"  Farber's Fourth Law",
"Necessity is the mother of strange bedfellows."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1323) {
    {
"  The Fifth Rule",
"You have taken yourself too seriously."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1324) {
    {
"  Finagle's First Law",
"If an experiment works, something has gone wrong."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1325) {
    {
"  Finagle's Second Law",
"No matter what result is anticipated, there will always be",
"someone eager to (a) misinterpret it, (b) fake it, or (c) believe",
"it happened to his own pet theory.",

    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1326) {
    {
"  Finagle's Third Law",
"In any collection of data, the figure most obviously correct,",
"beyond all need of checking, is the mistake.",
"Corollary 1:  No one whom you ask for help will see it.",
"Corollary 2:  Everyone who stops by with unsought advice",
"will see it immediately."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1327) {
    {
"  Finagle's Fourth Law",
"Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it only",
"makes it worse."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1328) {
    {
"  Finagle's Rules",
"Ever since the first scientific experiment, man has been",
"plagued by the increasing antagonism of nature.  It seems only",
"right that nature should be logical and neat, but experience",
"has shown that this is not the case.  A further series of rules",
"has been formulated, designed to help man accept the",
"pigheadedness of nature.",
"Rule 1:  To study a subject best, understand it thoroughly",
"before you start.",
"Rule 2:  Always keep a record of data.  It indicates you've",
"been working.",
"Rule 3:  Always draw your curves, then plot the reading.",
"Rule 4:  In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.",
"Rule 5:  Experiments should be reproducible.  They should all",
"fail in the same way.",
"Rule 6:  Do not believe in miracles.  Rely on them."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1329) {
    {
"  First Law of Bicycling",
"No matter which way you ride it's uphill and against the wind."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1330) {
    {
"  First Law of Bridge",

"It's always the partner's fault."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1331) {
    {
"  First Law of Canoeing   (Alfred Andrews' Canoeing Postulate)",
"No matter which direction you start it's always against the",
"wind coming back."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1332) {
    {
"  First Law of Debate",
"Never argue with a fool.  People might not know the difference."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1333) {
    {
"  First Law of Office Holders",
"Get re-elected."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1334) {
    {
"  Fitz-Gibbon's Law",
"Creativity varies inversely with the number of cooks involved",
"with the broth."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1335) {
    {
"  Flap's Law",
"Any inanimate object, regardless of its position or",
"configuration, may be expected to perform at any time in a",
"totally unexpected manner for reasons that are either entirely",
"obscure or else completely mysterious."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1336) {
    {
"  Fortis' Three Great Lies of Life",
"1)  Money isn't everything.",
"2)  It's great to be a Negro.",
"3)  I'm only going to put it in a little way."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1337) {
    {
"  Fourteenth Corollary of Atwood's General Law of Dynamic Negatives",
"No books are lost by loaning except those you particularly",
"wanted to keep."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1338) {
    {
"  Franklin's Rule",
"Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall not be",
"disappointed."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1339) {
    {
"  Gilb's first Laws of Unreliability",
"Computers are unreliable, but humans are even more unreliable",
"Corollary:  At the source of every error which is blamed on",
"the computer you will find at least two human errors,",
"including the error of blaming it on the computer."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1340) {
    {
"  Gilb's second Laws of Unreliability",
"The only difference between the fool and the criminal who",
"attacks a system is that the fool attacks unpredictably and",
"on a broader front."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1341) {
    {
"  Gilb's third Laws of Unreliability",
"Investment in reliability will increase until it exceeds",
"the probable cost of errors, or until someone",
"insists on getting some useful work done."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1342) {
    {
"  Ginsberg's Theorem",
"1)  You can't win.",
"2)  You can't break even.",
"3)  You can't even quit the game."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1343) {
    {
"  Golden Rules of Indulgence",
"Everything in excess!  To enjoy the full flavor of life, take",
"big bites.  Moderation is for monks.  Yield to temptation; it may",
"never pass your way again."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1344) {
    {
"  Gray's Law of Programming",
"n+1 trivial tasks are expected to be accomplished in the same",
"time as n trivial tasks."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1345) {
    {
"  Logg's Rebuttal to Gray's Law of Programming",
"n+1 trivial tasks take twice as long as n trivial tasks."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1346) {
    {
"  Gresham's Law",
"Trivial matters are handled promptly; important matters are never"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1347) {
    {
"  Grosch's Law",
"Computing power increases as the square of the cost.  If you",
"want to do it twice as cheaply, you have to do it four times",
"as fast."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1348) {
    {
"  Gummidge'e Law",
"The amount of expertise varies in inverse proportion to the",
"number of statements understood by the general public."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1349) {
    {
"  Gumperson's Law",
"The probability of anything happening is in inverse ratio to",
"its desirability."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1350) {
    {
"  Hacker's Law of Personnel",
"Anyone having supervisory responsibility for the completion of a",
"task will invariably protest that more resources are needed."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1351) {
    {
"  Hagerty's Law",
"If you lose your temper at a newspaper columnist, he'll get",
"rich or famous or both."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1352) {
    {
"  Haldane's Law",
"The Universe is not only queerer than we imagine;",
"it is queerer than we CAN imagine."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1353) {
    {
"  Harper's Magazine's Law",
"You never find an article until you replace it."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1354) {
    {
"  Hartley's First Law",
"You can lead a horse to water, but if you can get him to",
"float on his back you've got something."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1355) {
    {
"  Hartley's Second Law",
"Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1356) {
    {
"  Harvard Law",
"Under the most rigorously controlled conditions of pressure,",
"temperature, volume, humidity, and other variables, the",
"organism will do as it damn well pleases."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1357) {
    {
"  Heller's Law",
"The first myth of management is that it exists."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1358) {
    {
"  Hendrickson's Law",
"If a problem causes many meetings, the meetings eventually become",
"more important than the problem."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1359) {
    {
"  Hoare's Law of Large Programs",
"Inside every large program is a small program struggling",
"to get out."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1360) {
    {
"  Horner's Five Thumb Postulate",
"Experience varies directly with equipment ruined."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1361) {
    {
"  Howard's First Law of Theater",
"Use it."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1362) {
    {
"  Howe's Law",
"Every man has a scheme that will not work."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1363) {
    {
"  Hull's Theorem",
"The combined pull of several patrons is the sum of their",
"separate pulls multiplied by the number of patrons."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1364) {
    {
"  IBM Pollyanna Principle",
"Machines should work.  People should think."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1365) {
    {
"  Imhoff's Law",
"The organization of any bureaucracy is very much like a septic",
"tank  -- the REALLY big chunks always rise to the top."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1366) {
    {
"  Iron Law of Distribution",
"Them what has - gets."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1367) {
    {
"  Italian Proverb",
"She who is silent consents."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1368) {
    {
"  Jacquin's Postulate on Democratic Governments",
"No man's life, liberty or property are safe while the",
"legislature is in session."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1369) {
    {
"  Jay's Laws of Leadership",
"1)  Changing things is central to leadership,",
"and changing them before anyone else is creativeness.",
"2)  To build something that endures, it is of the greatest",
"importance to have a long tenure in office -- to rule for",
"many years.  You can achieve a quick success in a year or",
"two, but nearly all of the great tycoons have continued",
"their building much longer."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1370) {
    {
"  Jenkinson's Law",
"It won't work."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1371) {
    {
"  John Cameron's Law",
"No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered,",
"take it, because it'll never be quite the same again."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1372) {
    {
"  John's Axiom",
"When your opponent is down, kick him."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1373) {
    {
"  John's Collateral Corollary",
"In order to get a loan you must first prove you don't need it."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1374) {
    {
"  Johnson's Corollary to Heller's Law",
"Nobody really knows what is going on anywhere within your",
"organization."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1375) {
    {
"  Johnson's First Law of Auto Repair",
"Any tool dropped while repairing an automobile will roll",
"under the car to the vehicle's exact geographic center."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1376) {
    {
"  Johnson-Laird's Law",
"Toothache tends to start on Saturday night."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1377) {
    {
"  Jones' Law",
"The man who can smile when things go wrong has thought",
"of someone he can blame it on."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1378) {
    {
"  Jones' Motto",
"Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1379) {
    {
"  Kamin's First Law",
"All currencies will decrease in value and purchasing power",
"over the long term, unless they are freely and fully convertible",
"into gold and that gold is traded freely without restrictions of",
"any kind."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1380) {
    {
"  Kamin's Second Law",
"Threat of capital controls accelerates marginal capital",
"outflows."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1381) {
    {
"  Kamin's Third Law",
"Combined total taxation from all levels of government will",
"always increase (until the government is replaced by war or",
"revolution)."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1382) {
    {
"  Kamin's Fourth Law",
"Government inflation is always worse than statistics indicate;",
"central bankers are biased toward inflation when the money unit",
"is non-convertible, and without gold or silver backing."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1383) {
    {
"  Kamin's Fifth Law",
"Purchasing power of currency is always lost far more rapidly",
"than ever regained.  (Those who expect even fluctuations in both",
"directions play a losing game.)"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1384) {
    {
"  Kamin's Sixth Law",
"When attempting to predict and forecast macro-economic moves or",
"economic legislation by a politician, never be misled by what he",
"says; instead watch what he does."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1385) {
    {
"  Kamin's Seventh Law",
"Politicians will always inflate when given the opportunity."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1386) {
    {
"  Katz's Law",
"Men and nations will act rationally when all other",
"possibilities have been exhausted."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1387) {
    {
"  Kerr-Martin Law",
"1)  In dealing with their OWN problems, faculty members are the",
"most extreme conservatives.",
"2)  In dealing with OTHER people's problems, they are the",
"world's most extreme liberals."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1388) {
    {
"  Kirkland's Law",
"The usefulness of any meeting is in inverse proportion to",
"the attendance."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1389) {
    {
"  Kitman's Law",
"Pure drivel tends to drive off the TV screen ordinary",
"drivel."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1390) {
    {
"  Lani's Principles of Economics",
"1)  Taxes are not levied for the benefit of the taxed.",
"2)  $100 placed at 7% interest compounded quarterly for 200",
"years will increase to more than $100,000,000 by which time",
"it will be worth nothing.",
"3)  In God we trust, all others pay cash."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1391) {
    {
"  La Rochefoucauld's Law",
"It is more shameful to distrust one's friends than to be",
"deceived by them."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1392) {
    {
"  Law of Communications",
"The inevitable result of improved and enlarged communications",
"between different levels in a hierarchy is a vastly increased",
"area of misunderstanding."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1393) {
    {
"  Law of Computability Applied to Social Science",
"If at first you don't succeed, transform your data set."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1394) {
    {
"  Law of Selective Gravity   (The Buttered Side Down Law)",
"An object will fall so as to do the most damage."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1395) {
    {
"  Law of the Perversity of Nature   (Mrs. Murphy's Corollary)",
"You cannot successfully determine beforehand which side of",
"the bread to butter."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1396) {
    {
"  Law of Superiority",
"The first example of superior principle is always inferior",
"to the developed example of inferior principle."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1397) {
    {
"  Laws of Computerdom According to Golub",
"1)  Fuzzy project objectives are used to avoid the embarrassment",
"of estimating the corresponding costs.",
"2)  A carelessly planned project takes three times longer to",
"complete than expected; a carefully planned project will take",
"only twice as long.",
"3)  The effort required to correct course increases geometrically",
"with time.",
"4)  Project teams detest weekly progress reporting because it so",
"vividly manifests their lack of progress."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1398) {
    {
"  Laws of Computer Programming",
"1)  Any given program, when running, is obsolete.",
"2)  Any given program costs more and takes longer.",
"3)  If a program is useful, it will have to be changed.",
"4)  If a program is useless, it will have to be documented.",
"5)  Any given program will expand to fill all available",
"memory.",
"6)  The value of a program is proportional to the weight",
"of its output.",
"7)  Program complexity grows until it exceeds the",
"capability of the programmer who must maintain it.",
"8)  Make it possible for programmers to write programs in",
"English, and you will find that programmers cannot write in",
"English."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1399) {
    {
"  Laws of Gardening",
"1)  Other people's tools work only in other people's yards.",
"2)  Fancy gizmos don't work.",
"3)  If nobody uses it, there's a reason.",
"4)  You get the most of what you need the least."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1400) {
    {
"  Le Chatelier's Law",
"If some stress is brought to bear on a system in equilibrium,",
"the equilibrium is displaced in the direction which tends to",
"undo the effect of the stress."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1401) {
    {
"  Les Miserables Meta-Law",
"All laws, whether good, bad, or indifferent, must be",
"obeyed to the letter."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1402) {
    {
"  Long's Notes",
"1) Always store beer in a dark place.",
"2) Always listen to experts.  They'll tell you what can't be",
"done, and why.  Then do it.",
"3) A poet who reads his verse in public may have other nasty",
"habits.",
"4) It's amazing how much “mature wisdom” resembles being too",
"tired.",
"5) It's better to copulate than never.",
"6) An elephant: a mouse built to government specifications.",
"7) God is omnipotent, omniscient, and omnibenevolent.  It says",
"so right here on the label.  If you have a mind capable of",
"believing all three of these divine attributes",
"simultaneously, I have a wonderful bargain for you.",
"No checks, please.  Cash and in small bills.",
"8) Beware of altruism.  It is based on self-deception, the root",
"of all evil.",
"9) Does history record any case in which the majority was",
"right?",
"10) Never try to outstubborn a cat.",
"11) You can go wrong by being too skeptical as readily as by",
"being too trusting.",
"12) Pessimist by policy, optimist by temperament -- it is",
"possible to be both.  How?  By never taking unnecessary",
"chances and by minimizing risks you can't avoid.  This",
"permits you to play the game happily, untroubled by the",
"certainty of the outcome.",
"13) The greatest productive force is human selfishness.",
"14) The correct way to punctuate a sentence that starts:",
"“of course it's none of my business, but....” is to place a",
"period after the word “but”.  Don't use excessive force in",
"supplying such morons with a period.  Cutting his throat is",
"only a momentary pleasure and is bound to get you talked",
"about."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1403) {
    {
"  Lord Falkland's Rule",
"When it is not necessary to make a decision, it is necessary not",
"to make a decision."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1404) {
    {
"  Lowery's Law",
"If it jams - force it.  If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1405) {
    {
"  Malek's Law",
"Any simple idea will be worded in the most complicated way."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1406) {
    {
"  Malinowski's Law",
"Looking from far above, from our high places of safety in",
"the developed civilization, it is easy to see all the crudity and",
"irrelevance of magic."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1407) {
    {
"  Dean Martin's Definition of Drunkenness",
"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1408) {
    {
"  Martin-Berthelot Principle",
"Of all possible committee reactions to any given agenda item,",
"the reaction that will occur is the one which will liberate",
"the greatest amount of hot air."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1409) {
    {
"  Match's Maxim",
"A fool in a high station is like a man on the top of a high",
"mountain:  everything appears small to him and he appears small",
"to everybody."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1410) {
    {
"  McClaughry's Codicil on Jone's Motto",
"To make an enemy, do someone a favor."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1411) {
    {
"  McClaughry's Law of Zoning",
"Where zoning is not needed, it will work perfectly;",
"where it is desperately needed, it always breaks down."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1412) {
    {
"  McGoon's Law",
"The probability of winning is inversely proportional to",
"the amount of the wager."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1413) {
    {
"  McNaughton's Rule",
"Any argument worth making within the bureaucracy must be",
"capable of being expressed in a simple declarative sentence that",
"is obviously true once stated."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1414) {
    {
"  H. L. Mencken's Law",
"Those who can -- do.",
"Those who cannot -- teach.",
"Those who cannot teach -- administrate.  (Martin's extension)"
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1415) {
    {
"  Merrill's First Corollary",
"There are no winners in life; only survivors."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1416) {
    {
"  Merrill's Second Corollary",
"In the highway of life, the average happening is of about as",
"much true significance as a dead skunk in the middle of the road."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1417) {
    {
"  Meskimen's Law",
"There's never time to do it right, but always time to",
"do it over."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1418) {
    {
"  Michehl's Theorem",
"Less is more."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1419) {
    {
"  Pastore's Comment on Michehl's Theorem",
"Nothing is ultimate."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1420) {
    {
"  Miller's Law",
"You can't tell how deep a puddle is until you step into it."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1421) {
    {
"  Mobil's Maxim",
"Bad regulation begets worse regulation."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1422) {
    {
"  Murphy's First Law",
"Nothing is as easy as it looks."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1423) {
    {
"  Murphy's Second Law",
"Everything takes longer than you think."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1424) {
    {
"  Murphy's Third Law",
"In any field of scientific endeavor, anything that can go",
"wrong will go wrong."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1425) {
    {
"  Murphy's Fourth Law",
"If there is a possibility of several things going wrong,",
"the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to",
"go wrong."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1426) {
    {
"  Murphy's Fifth Law",
"If anything just cannot go wrong, it will anyway."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1427) {
    {
"  Murphy's Sixth Law",
"If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which",
"a procedure can go wrong, and circumvent these, then a fifth way,",
"unprepared for, will promptly develop."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1428) {
    {
"  Murphy's Seventh Law",
"Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1429) {
    {
"  Murphy's Eighth Law",
"If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously",
"overlooked something."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1430) {
    {
"  Murphy's Ninth Law",
"Nature always sides with the hidden flaw."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1431) {
    {
"  Murphy's Tenth Law",
"Mother nature is a bitch."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1432) {
    {
"  Murphy's Eleventh Law",
"It is impossible to make anything foolproof because",
"fools are so ingenious."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1433) {
    {
"  Murphy's Law of Thermodynamics",
"Things get worse under pressure."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1434) {
    {
"  Newton's Little-known Seventh Law",
"A bird in the hand is safer than one overhead."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1435) {
    {
"  Nienberg's Law",
"Progress is made on alternate Fridays."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1436) {
    {
"  Ninety-ninety Rule of Project Schedules",
"The first ninety percent of the task takes ninety percent",
"of the time, and the last ten percent takes the other ninety",
"percent."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1437) {
    {
"  O'Brien's Principle   (The $357.73 Theory)",
"Auditors always reject any expense account with a bottom line",
"divisible by 5 or 10."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1438) {
    {
"  Oeser's Law",
"There is a tendency for the person in the most powerful",
"position in an organization to spend all his time serving",
"on committees and signing letters."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1439) {
    {
"  Ordering Principle",
"Those supplies necessary for yesterday's experiment must",
"be ordered no later than tomorrow noon."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1440) {
    {
"  Osborn's Law",
"Variables won't, constants aren't."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1441) {
    {
"  O'Toole's Commentary on Murphy's Laws",
"Murphy was an optimist."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1442) {
    {
"  Pardo's Postulates",
"1)  Anything good is either illegal, immoral, or fattening.",
"2)  The three faithful things in life are money, a dog, and",
"an old woman.",
"3)  Don't care if you're rich or not, as long as you can live",
"comfortably and have everything you want."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1443) {
    {
"  Pareto's Law   (The 20/80 Law)",
"20% of the customers account for 80% of the turnover,",
"20% of components account for 80% of the cost, and",
"so forth."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1444) {
    {
"  Parker's Rule of Parliamentary Procedure",
"A motion to adjourn is always in order."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1445) {
    {
"  Parker's Law of Political Statements",
"The truth of a proposition has nothing to do with its",
"credibility and vice versa."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1446) {
    {
"  Parkinson's First Law",
"Work expands to fill the time available for its completion;",
"the thing to be done swells in perceived importance and",
"complexity in a direct ratio with the time to be spent in",
"its completion."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1447) {
    {
"  Parkinson's Second Law",
"Expenditures rise to meet income."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1448) {
    {
"  Parkinson's Third Law",
"If there is a way to delay an important decision the good",
"bureaucracy, public or private, will find it."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1449) {
    {
"  Parkinson's Fourth Law",
"The number of people in any working group tends to increase",
"regardless of the amount of work to be done."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1450) {
    {
"  Parkinson's Law of Delay",
"Delay is the deadliest form of denial."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1451) {
    {
"  Pastore's Truths",
"1)  Even paranoids have enemies.",
"2)  This job is marginally better than daytime TV.",
"3)  On alcohol: four is one more than more than enough."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1452) {
    {
"  Peckham's Law",
"Beauty times brains equals a constant."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1453) {
    {
"  Peer's Law",
"The solution to a problem changes the problem."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1454) {
    {
"  Peter Principle",
"In every hierarchy, whether it be government or business, each",
"employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence; every post",
"tends to be filled by an employee incompetent to execute its",
"duties."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1455) {
    {
"  Peter's Corollaries",
"1)  Incompetence knows no barriers of time or place.",
"2)  Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet",
"reached their level of incompetence.",
"3)  If at first you don't succeed, try something else."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1456) {
    {
"  Peter's Inversion",
"Internal consistency is valued more highly than efficiency."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1457) {
    {
"  Peter's Paradox",
"Employees in a hierarchy do not really object to incompetence",
"in their colleagues."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1458) {
    {
"  Peter's Perfect People Palliative",
"Each of us is a mixture of good qualities and some (perhaps)",
"not-so-good qualities.  In considering our fellow people we",
"should remember their good qualities and realize that their",
"faults only prove that they are, after all, human.  We should",
"refrain from making harsh judgements of people just because",
"they happen to be dirty, rotten, no-good sons-of-bitches."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1459) {
    {
"  Peter's Placebo",
"An ounce of image is worth a pound of performance."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1460) {
    {
"  Peter's Theorem",
"Incompetence plus incompetence equals incompetence."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1461) {
    {
"  Potter's Law",
"The amount of flak received on any subject is inversely",
"proportional to the subject's true value."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1462) {
    {
"  Productivity Equation",
"The productivity, P, of a group of people is:",
"P = N x T x (.55 - .00005 x N x (N - 1) )",
"where N is the number of people in the group",
"and T is the number of hours in a work period."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1463) {
    {
"  Professor Gordon's Rule of Evolving Bryographic Systems",
"While bryographic plants are typically encountered in",
"substrata of earthy or mineral matter in concreted state,",
"discrete substrata elements occasionally display a roughly",
"spherical configuration which, in presence of suitable",
"gravitational and other effects, lends itself to combined",
"translatory and rotational motion.  One notices in such cases",
"an absence of the otherwise typical accretion of bryophyta.",
"We therefore conclude that a rolling stone gathers no moss."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1464) {
    {
"  Pudder's Law",
"Anything that begins well ends badly.",
"Anything that begins badly ends worse."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1465) {
    {
"  Puritan's Law",
"Evil is live spelled backwards."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1466) {
    {
"  Puritan's Second Law",
"If it feels good, don't do it."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1467) {
    {
"  Q's Law",
"No matter what stage of completion one reaches in a North Sea",
"(oil) field, the cost of the remainder of the project remains",
"the same."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1468) {
    {
"  Rangnekar's Modified Rules Concerning Decisions",
"1)  If you must make a decision, delay it.",
"2)  If you can authorize someone else to avoid a decision, do so.",
"3)  If you can form a committee, have them avoid the decision.",
"4)  If you can otherwise avoid a decision, avoid it immediately."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1469) {
    {
"  Rayburn's Rule",
"If you want to get along, go along."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1470) {
    {
"  Riddle's Constant",
"There are coexisting elements in frustration phenomena which",
"separate expected results from achieved results."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1471) {
    {
"  Ross' Law",
"Never characterize the importance of a statement in advance."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1472) {
    {
"  Rudin's Law",
"In a crisis that forces a choice to be made among alternative",
"courses of action, most people will choose the worst one",
"possible."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1473) {
    {
"  Sam's Axiom",

"1)  Any line, however short, is still too long.",

"2)  Work is the crabgrass of life, but money is the water",
"that keeps it green."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1474) {
    {
"  Sattinger's Law",
"It works better if you plug it in."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1475) {
    {
"  Segal's Law",
"A man with one watch knows what time it is;",
"a man with two watches is never sure."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1476) {
    {
"  Sevareid's Law",
"The chief cause of problems is solutions."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1477) {
    {
"  Shalit's Law",
"The intensity of movie publicity is in inverse ratio to the",
"quality of the movie."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1478) {
    {
"  Shanahan's Law",
"The length of a meeting rises with the square of the number of",
"people present."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1479) {
    {
"  Shaw's Principle",
"Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will",
"want to use it."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1480) {
    {
"  Simmon's Law",
"The desire for racial integration increases with the square",
"of the distance from the actual event."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1481) {
    {
"  Simon's Law",
"Everything put together sooner or later falls apart."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1482) {
    {
"  Skinner's Constant   (Flannegan's Finagling Factor)",
"That quantity which, when multiplied by, divided by, added to,",
"or subtracted from the answer you get, gives you the answer",
"you should have gotten."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1483) {
    {
"  Snafu Equations",

"1)  Given any problem containing n equations, there will be",
"n + 1 unknowns.",

"2)  An object or bit of information most needed, will be",
"least available.",

"3)  In any human endeavor, once you have exhausted all",
"possibilities and fail, there will be one solution, simple",
"and obvious, highly visible to everyone else.",

"4)  Badness comes in waves."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1484) {
    {
"  Sociology's Iron Law of Oligarchy",
"In every organized activity, no matter the sphere,",
"a small number will become the oligarchial leaders",
"and the others will follow."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1485) {
    {
"  Spare Parts Principle",
"The accessibility, during recovery of small parts which fall",
"from the work bench, varies directly with the size of the",
"part and inversely with its importance to the completion of",
"work underway."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1486) {
    {
"  Steele's Plagiarism of Somebody's Philosophy",
"Everyone should believe in something -- I believe I'll have",
"another drink."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1487) {
    {
"  Sturgeon's Law",
"90 per cent of everything is crap."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1488) {
    {
"  Swipple Rule of Order",
"He who shouts loudest has the floor."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1489) {
    {
"  Terman's Law",
"There is no direct relationship between the quality of",
"an educational program and its cost."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1490) {
    {
"  Terman's Law of Innovation",
"If you want a track team to win the high jump",
"you find one person who can jump seven feet,",
"not seven people who can jump one foot."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1491) {
    {
"  Theory of the International Society of Philosophic Engineering",
"In any calculation, any error which can creep in will."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1492) {
    {
"  Thoreau's Law",
"If you see a man approaching with the obvious intent",
"of doing you good,  run for your life."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1493) {
    {
"  Transcription Law",
"The number of errors made is equal to the number of 'squares'",
"employed."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1494) {
    {
"  Truman's Law",
"If you cannot convince them, confuse them."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1495) {
    {
"  Truths of Management",
"1)  Think before you act; it's not your money.",
"2)  All good management is the expression of one great idea.",
"3)  No executive devotes effort to proving himself wrong.",
"4)  Cash in must exceed cash out.",
"5)  If you are doing something wrong, you will do it badly.",
"6)  If you are attempting the impossible, you will fail.",
"7)  The easiest way of making money is to stop losing it.",
"8)  Organizations always have too many managers."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1496) {
    {
"  Tuccille's First Law of Reality",
"Industry always moves in to fill an economic vacuum."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1497) {
    {
"  Vail's Axiom",
"In any human enterprise, work seeks the lowest hierarchial level."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1498) {
    {
"  Vique's Law",
"A man without religion is like a fish without a bicycle."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1499) {
    {
"  Vonnegut's Corollary",
"Beauty may be only skin deep, but ugliness goes right to",
"the core."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1500) {
    {
"  Weaver's Corollary   (Doyle's Corollary)",
"No matter how many reporters share a cab, and no matter who",
"pays, each puts the full fare on his own expense account."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1501) {
    {
"  Weber-Fechner Law",
"The least change in stimulus necessary to produce a perceptible",
"change in response is proportional to the stimulus already",
"existing."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1502) {
    {
"  Weinberg's Law",
"If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs,",
"then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy",
"civilization."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1503) {
    {
"  Weinberg's Corollary",
"An expert is a person who avoids the small errors",
"while sweeping on to the grand fallacy."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1504) {
    {
"  Westheimer's Rule",
"To estimate the time it takes to do a task:  estimate",
"the time you think it should take, multiply by 2, and change",
"the unit of measure to the next highest unit.  Thus we allocate",
"2 days for a one hour task."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1505) {
    {
"  White's Chappaquidick Theorem",
"The sooner and in more detail you announce bad news, the better."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1506) {
    {
"  White's Observations of Committee Operation",

"1)  People very rarely think in groups;",
"they talk together, they exchange information, they",
"adjudicate,  they make compromises.",
"But they do not think; they do not create.",

"2)  A really new idea affronts current agreement.",

"3)  A meeting cannot be productive unless certain premises are",
"so shared that they do not need to be discussed, and the",
"argument can be confined to areas of disagreement.  But while",
"this kind of consensus makes a group more effective in its",
"legitimate functions, it does not make the group a creative",
"vehicle -- it would not be a new idea if it didn't -- and the",
"group, impelled as it is to agree, is instinctively hostile to",
"that which is divisive."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1507) {
    {
"  White's Statement",
"Don't lose heart..."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1508) {
    {
"  Byrd's Addition to Owen's Comment on White's Statement",
"...and they want to avoid a lengthy search."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1509) {
    {
"  Wiker's Law",
"Government expands to absorb revenue and then some."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1510) {
    {
"  Wolf's Law   (An Optimistic View of a Pessimistic World)",
"It isn't that things will necessarily go wrong (Murphy's Law),",
"but rather that they will take so much more time and effort than",
"you think if they are not to go wrong."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1511) {
    {
"  Worker's Dilemma Law   (or Management's Put-Down Law)",
"1)  No matter how much you do, you'll never do enough.",
"2)  What you don't do is always more important than what",
"you do do."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1512) {
    {
"  Wynne's Law",
"Negative slack tends to increase."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1513) {
    {
"  Zymurgy's First Law of Evolving System Dynamics",
"Once you open a can of worms, the only way to re-can them",
"is to use a larger can.  (Old worms never die, they just worm",
"their way into larger cans)."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1514) {
    {
"  Zymurgy's Law on the Availability of Volunteer Labor",
"People are always available for work in the past tense."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1515) {
    {
"  Zymurgy's Seventh Exception to Murphy's Laws",
"When it rains, it pours."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1516) {
    {
"  Merrill's Second Corollary",
"In the highway of life, the average happening is of about as",
"much true significance as a dead skunk in the middle of the road."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1517) {
    {
"  Puritan's Law",
"Evil is live spelled backwards."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1518) {
    {
"  Imhoff's Law",
"The organization of any bureaucracy is very much like a septic",
"tank  -- the REALLY big chunks always rise to the top."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1519) {
    {
"  Hartley's Second Law",
"Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1520) {
    {
"  Baxter's Third Law",
"In a free market good money always drives bad money out of",
"circulation."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1521) {
    {
"  Flap's Law",
"Any inanimate object, regardless of its position or",
"configuration, may be expected to perform at any time in a",
"totally unexpected manner for reasons that are either entirely",
"obscure or else completely mysterious."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1522) {
    {
"  Nienberg's Law",
"Progress is made on alternate Fridays."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1523) {
    {
"  Segal's Law",
"A man with one watch knows what time it is;",
"a man with two watches is never sure."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1524) {
    {
"  The Two Constant Laws of Frisbee:",

"1)    The most powerful force in the world is that of a disk straining",
"to land under a car just out of reach, (technically, this is",
"termed, “Car-Suck”).",

"2)    Never precede any maneuver with anything more predictive than",
"“Watch this!”."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1525) {
    {
"  Hafstater's Law:",
"It always takes longer than you expect,",
"even when you take Hafstater's law into account."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1526) {
    {
"  Main's Law:",
"For every action there is an equal and opposite government program."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1527) {
    {
"  Prudhomme's Law of Window Cleaning:",
"It's on the other side."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1528) {
    {
"  Glib's Fourth Law of Unreliability:",
"Investment in reliability will increase until it exceeds the probable",
"cost of errors, or until someone insists on getting some useful work",
"done."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1529) {
    {
"  Lubarsky's Law of Cybernetic Entomology:",
"There's always one more bug."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1530) {
    {
"  Harris' Lament:",
"All the good ones are taken."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1531) {
    {
"  Law of Procrastination",
"Procrastination avoids boredom; one never has the feeling that",
"there is nothing important to do."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1532) {
    {
"  Pardo's First Postulate:",
"Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral, or fattening.",
"  Arnold's Addendum:",
"Anything not fitting into the above categories causes cancer in rats."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1533) {
    {
"  Penny's Law:",
"You can fool all of the people some of the time,",
"and some of the people all the time, but you can't fool Mom."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1534) {
    {
"  Mosher's Law of Software Engineering:",
"Don't worry if it doesn't work right; if everything did,",
"you'd be out of a job."
    }
};

resource 'STR#' (1535) {
    {
"  Arnold's Law of Documentation:",
"1.)    If it should exist, it doesn't.",
"2.)    If it doesn't exist, it's out of date.",
"3.)    Only documentation for useless programs transcends the first two ",
"laws."
    }
};